Every day, I think about aging. At sporadic times: I'll be washing dishes, parking my car, getting ready for bed. I just turned twenty-one, but I feel like I've grown up in a bubble that has enabled me to be child-like. I have a youthful face, and I'm hardly five feet tall. I have a very high-pitched voice. I think these features have always protected me from the fear of getting older: if I look like a child, perhaps I'll always be one. But recently, I've become a bit more afraid of being wasteful with my time. A lot of the things I do lately are meant to actively fight any idea that I'm getting older... but I don't find myself enjoying them. I've been feeling very afraid lately.
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Thank you, pal.