A Sister's Social Agony

✍ CURRENTLY WRITING FROM: VERACRUZ, MEXICO

One thing that I resent about me being the oldest sister, and not growing up with a companion close my age, is the fact that I never had anyone to impress.  I didn't try to better myself or learn from someone else's mistakes.  I couldn't talk to my father about the things I was curious about because he expected me to find a way to figure it out on my own.  I chose not to talk to my mother about things because she very respectfully abhors excuses, which I'm full of.

I get so obnoxious and cheesy when it comes to having sisters.  For one, I think the idea of sisters fits my aesthetic preferences so much.  Maybe it has something to do with watching Madeline and the Parent Trap too much as a child.  Also, I get consumed with horrible pride whenever either of them comes to me with a question or some way to impress me.

When I was a few years younger, and still cruel to Sabrina, my dad would often berate me for this, and he would always find a way to let me know in the end of our conversation that all my sister wanted was "to impress me and have me like her".  My heart always broke and I ended the day being overly nice to her, which would then lead to me becoming angry and cruel again whenever she didn't reciprocate.

I made a pact with Sabrina over half a year ago.

We promise each other a lot of things, and I know that she can be very nonchalant about the things she tells me, and the things I tell her, but I make sure to keep it in my heart that I will stay true to my promises to her.

One of our pacts is to legally be drunk in front of one another for the first time.  This means that I will wait until she's 21 so that we can both be piss-drunk, as the kids say, This works out fine for me, considering how scared I am of alcohol.  We also plan to live together and try to become adults together for at least a little bit because we're not really sure how letting go of people works yet.

We went to Mexico recently to visit some family and see some prettyness and I got really emotionally attached to my camera and my sisters' beauty.  The end.